23.1.11

Holes in my Umbrella

This is my first post.

So, hello. And, may I say, what a wonderful person you are, for stopping by to read this blog. In the time we will spend together, you will learn many things that you did not know. Or, more likely, you will learn several things that you already knew, and I will just be reiterating them for you from my unique perspective that is voice.

There are some things that you should know about me.

1) I am a comma-happy freak when writing. I tend to create such long sentences, with so many commas, semi-colons, and ellipses that you're head will start to spin, you will become confused and might start skipping lines, and when you direct your attention to the flight attendant at the front of the room, she will instruct you to put your head between your knees and take deep even breaths; she will direct you, if you feel the need to up-chuck to the paper bags to your right, or the bathroom down the hall to your left.

2) I only write about stuff that I find worth noting. I won't sit on this blog and babble about my perfect life (or even my terrible, emotional, melodramatic one), or my bitchy friends (not that I have any...), or my cute baby. YUCK! You don't want to read all that crap, and I certainly don't want to write it. But, alas, we are all human (except for the aliens that secretly inhabit the earth and try to impersonate us, of course), and we all make mistakes. So, if you find that my ranting starts to become a little too...verbose... then, please, for all of our sakes: TELL ME TO SHUT UP.

(When I instruct you to tell me to zip it, I only mean if I start babbling about stupid, inconsequential stuff. If I'm in the middle of a rant about how republicans hate eating green vegetables, and want America to become so obese that they won't even move out of their over-stuffed lazy-boy chairs to take a dump, then please, don't cut me off with your disinterest. If you are uninterested, then feel free to leave. Please.)

3) I don't really have any filter system... so sorry if I offend you. Especially if you're a republican.

Anyway, I'm done with that. As this blog progresses, you will get to know me and my tendencies more. Each of my posts will be about the things in my life, or my thoughts or opinions on certain things pertaining to this life, that have fallen through the holes in my umbrella. And really, an umbrella is no good when it doesn't shield you from the brain storm.

That said, sometimes I feel like my life would make a really good soap opera. But everyone thinks that at some point of another, I suppose.

This is an experiment. We'll see how it goes.

Dobbiamo essere amici riunificata, e lasciate amanti croce sentieri nuovamente. Se รจ destinata ad essere, sia.
Addio, e voi tutti conservate natica lontano dalle fiamme.

(Uh, don't translate that. It comes out pretty weird...)

--Remarke.

Here's a little something to make you smile. Yes, even you.







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